I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
