There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
