We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
