I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
