i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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