He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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