Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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