piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
