I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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