i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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