READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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