I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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