a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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