Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
