Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
