drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
