Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
