When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
