So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
