i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
