Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
