maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
