god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Randomize
