you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
