so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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