Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
