Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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