Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
