Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
