Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
