this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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