this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
