Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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