I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
