Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
