you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
