so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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