we have pet lesbian snakes
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
