gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
