susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
