Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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