don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
