with your own penis?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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