At least make sure they are 18
Why
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
