do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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