My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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