Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
