just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
