1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
