I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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