that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We left the knife in your bed.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
